Have you ever seen a grown-up looking at their phone and laughing? Maybe they are looking at funny pictures with words on them. Often, these funny pictures are about liking someone. People call these romantic love memes.
Romantic love memes are just little jokes about having a crush, going on dates, or falling in love. Some of them are very funny. But some are a little sad. Some romantic love memes show people crying because someone was mean. Some show people being very angry or acting silly because they like someone too much.
Looking at romantic love memes is okay. But if you want to be really good at liking someone, you need more than just funny pictures on a phone. You need to be “feeling smart.”
Grown-ups call this “emotional intelligence.” But that is a very big, hard word. It just means you know how to be smart about your feelings. When you are feeling smart, you know what you feel. You know how to talk about it. And you know how to be nice to other people’s feelings, too.
If you want to stop feeling bad when you like someone, here are three easy ways to feel smart. These are much better than just looking at romantic love memes all day!
1. You Can Say How You Feel
When you are little, you learn easy words for how you feel. You learn “happy,” “sad,” and “mad.” But as you get bigger, your feelings get bigger, too.
Sometimes, when someone hurts your feelings, you do not know what to say. You might feel “bad” or “weird.” You might see some romantic love memes that show someone crying, and you think, “Yes, that is exactly how I feel!” But the picture does not tell you the real word.
Feeling smart means you find the right word.
Let us say you are talking to someone you like. They look at their phone the whole time and do not listen to you. You might feel mad. But mad is not the right word. The right word might be “ignored.” You feel ignored.
Or, let us say they do not text you back for a long time. You might feel sad. But the right word might be “worried” or “scared.”
When you can say the real word, magic happens. You do not have to act badly or run away. You can say, “I felt ignored when you looked at your phone.” This helps the other person understand you. It stops fights. It is much better than just sending them romantic love memes to try to give them a hint.
2. You Look at Your Own Choices
Imagine you have a toy box. Every time you reach into the toy box, you pull out a broken toy. You play with it, it breaks more, and you feel sad. The next day, you reach into the same box and pull out the same broken toy.
That would be silly, right? If you want a good toy, you have to pick a different toy!
Some people do this with who they like. They pick the same kind of person every time. And every time, that person is mean to them. Then they look at romantic love memes that say, “Why is everyone so mean to me?”
If the same bad thing keeps happening to you, you have to look at your own choices. This is not to say it is your fault that someone is mean. It is not! But you are the one picking the person.
A feeling-smart person stops and asks, “Why do I keep picking people who are mean to me?” “Why do I like people who do not talk to me?”
When you ask these hard questions, you can fix the problem. You can start picking nice people. You can say, “No thank you,” to the mean people. You are the boss of your own choices!
3. You Can Stop and Take a Breath
Liking someone can make your tummy feel funny. It can make your heart beat fast. Sometimes, they do something that makes you feel very scared or very mad.
When you feel a big feeling, your brain wants you to act very fast. Your brain says, “Yell at them!” Or your brain says, “Send them ten mad messages right now!” Or your brain says, “Run away and hide!”
Have you ever seen those romantic love memes where someone throws their phone at a wall because their crush did not text back? That is what happens when you act too fast.
Feeling smart means you can stop. You can feel the big feeling, but you do not have to do anything right away.
Imagine a big red stop sign in your head. When you feel mad or scared, see the stop sign. Take a big, deep breath. Count to three.
That little pause is where the magic is. In that pause, your brain calms down. Then, you can make a good choice. You can say, “I am going to wait until tomorrow to talk about this.”
You will not say mean words you are sorry for later. You will not break things. You breathe. This keeps you safe and keeps your friendships safe, too.
A Story About Feeling Smart
Let me tell you a story about a girl named Lily. Lily loved looking at romantic love memes on her phone. She thought they were very funny. But in real life, she felt sad a lot.
Lily liked a boy named Sam. Sam was very nice at first. But then, Sam started to ignore her. He would not play with her at school.
Lily felt a big, bad feeling in her chest. She wanted to yell at Sam. She wanted to send him a lot of mean messages. She wanted to go home and look at sad romantic love memes all night.
But then, Lily remembered to be feeling smart.
First, she named her feeling. She said, “I do not just feel mad. I feel left out.”
Second, she looked at her choices. She thought, “Last time I liked a boy, he ignored me too. I need to stop picking boys who ignore me.”
Third, she stopped and took a breath. She did not yell. She did not send a mean message. She just walked away and played with her good friends instead.
The next day, Sam tried to talk to her. But Lily was feeling smart now. She said, “Sam, I like playing, but I do not like it when you ignore me. If you do that again, I will play with someone else.”
Sam was surprised. But he learned that Lily was strong. He started being nicer to her because she knew how to use her words.
You Can Do It Too!
You do not need to be a grown-up to feel smart. You can start right now.
The next time you feel a big feeling, try to find the right word for it. Do not just point to a funny picture on the internet.
The next time you keep getting hurt, look at your own choices. Make sure you are picking good friends.
And the next time you want to yell or say something mean, stop. Take a deep breath. Wait.
Romantic love memes are fun to look at. But they are not real life. Real life is about talking, breathing, and being kind. When you learn how to be feeling smart, you will not need to look at sad pictures on a phone anymore. You will be too busy having fun and being happy!
