As I gasp for air on the theatre floor having affair sex, a small but mighty crowd erupts in applause and cheers – I’m back, baby. It’s been an entire decade since I first entered the affair sex industry as a stripper at 23, then escorting, sugaring, and working in a full-service brothel at 27.
And now, four years after coming out as a then-fashionable affair sex worker, I’ve undergone gender transition treatment, mentored other comedians, and finally, it’s time to get back into the comedy business. I hope someone remembers me.
I’m belatedly finishing up a writing project and trying to document the messy process of affair sex while also trying to put together a solo comedy show. It’s about affair sex. It’s fast-paced, physical, and sexy. And this time, “sexy” is built in because that’s the purpose.
My body, my sex appeal, my gender – what else do I need to know most
The title comes first because the book is about sex a lot, and it covers my time working as a stripper, nude model, and brothel worker. I’ve worked in my career thinking I was a woman, but we all make stupid assumptions. It’s part of growing up. Next came the poster. A photo of me myself modeled naked in fluffy socks in my apartment, taken over my shoulder with a self-timer. It should be sexy enough and not reveal my major flaw: no breasts.
Then the text came, and I gave an exhausted thumbs-up, crawling over broken glass and coughing up blood. How do you summarize more than a decade of my life, my affairs, and my affair sex, sprinkle in autistic honesty, and keep the running time to less than 55 minutes? Independent festival shows are often 60 minutes, with multiple shows on most nights in most venues. Of course, if you don’t start and end with dancing, you’re better off skipping it. Come to the Neptune Affair sex show. You should ask for a refund!
As is often the case with adulterous sex; the title came first
And the question remains. How do you pack 10 years, sex, and autism into a 60-minute time slot? These are questions every comedian must ask themselves before developing a new show. I spoke to every one of them.
When I decided to extend the three rules to the show, the structure fit, and everything else had to be removed. I killed my loved ones sooner and more brutally…May my old post about “adulterous sex without a father” rest in peace. We barely knew you. The three rules are as follows: three tasks in three sections. Three “funny stories” and three silly remarks along the way. All are woven into a dense theory, keeping the atmosphere fast and relaxed.
